For kids, starting secondary school is a critical turning point. The transition to "big school" is a completely different experience. The primary school teachers frequently care for and shield the kids (or middle school, depending on where you live). This is wonderful and protective, giving your child a strong sense of self. Secondary school, on the other hand, represents a cultural transition wherein, in this novel setting, independence is required from day one. Children frequently struggle to meet all the increased expectations placed on them. Here are some suggestions for helping your youngster adjust to their new beginning.

Step 1: Recognize the Causes of Your Child's Secondary School Transition Problems.

Without first understanding a problem, you cannot resolve it. Young people are experts at making generalizations like "school is dull," "I hate school," or "I can't do it." It would help if you ascertained the cause. Become a detective: watch, speak, and listen. Keep a diary on paper or your phone. Why are they finding it difficult to adjust to secondary education? Here are a few potential explanations:

a. They require additional time to get used to the change to secondary school. 

The brains of some kids adapt to new circumstances more quickly than others. At the same time, hundreds of changes are associated with the transition to secondary school; New friends, different teachers, new classes, new uniforms, new means of transportation to school, new schedules, etc. There may be slow but smooth transitions or seamless transitions with hiccups along the way.

b. The right friends haven't yet been made for them. 

In general, secondary school offers a far wider variety of friendships than primary school. What is the first step? Who do you pick when you're looking for new friends? This might be such a difficult topic. When it comes to available social settings and activities, secondary school students have a difficult time making decisions. Even if your child immediately makes friends they feel are a good fit for them, their personalities, interests, and values may not match those of these pals. She might need to search for an open, joyful and secure friendship group for weeks, months, or even years.

c. They Discover the Academic Work to be Hard.

Between primary and secondary school, the complexity of academic work typically increases. This could reveal issues that were concealed in elementary school. Your child's ability to process spoken or written information may be hindering them, negatively affecting their academic success. The labour may be more difficult due to the pace or volume. Or perhaps the largest obstacle to academic success is adjusting to teachers' teaching philosophies. Examine the possibility that your child has unique educational needs that should be evaluated and supported.

d. They require more assistance with independence or organization.

Independence-building abilities are almost always "works in progress" that take time to develop. There is a lot to remember:

• Note the homework and do it in the allotted time.
• Prepare their suitcase for tomorrow.
• Attend the appropriate lesson at the appropriate time.
• The process of getting to and from school. 

Children may face several difficulties at once. The fact that your child is struggling may go unnoticed by new teachers. Most likely, your child will be attempting to blend in. Without attracting attention to the student's difficulties, teachers might subtly facilitate the transitions in this area.

e. The transition to secondary school has been overwhelming overall.

The transfer to secondary school can put a child's brain and neurological system to the test, especially in the first term when the brain must quickly adapt to numerous significant changes. Secondary schools might be daunting because they are sometimes bigger and busier, and the hardest part of school can occasionally be the free periods. This doesn't necessarily mean that school will feel overwhelming all the time, but your child's neurological system will require some extra care for a while.

Step 2- Prioritize 

You acknowledge that your child is having difficulty adjusting to life in secondary school, and you have determined why.

It's time to set priorities now. Together, sit down and jot down a list. What keeps your kid from being content and joyful at school?

Step 3: Decide what to do

You can do numerous things depending on the difficulties you have recognized. You can follow the tips given below. Examine them all to determine which ones would work best for the problems your child is having.

a. Engage in Positive Conversation with a Caring Staff member.  

Ensure your child is on the radar of important high school professionals throughout the transition time, such as the head of pastoral care and the head of the year. Your child's wellbeing is more essential than worrying about being perceived as a "pushy parent," so don't worry about it, but make sure you are always nice and considerate. If the primary school did not communicate your child's special requirements, it is helpful to provide a summary of those needs.

Young people are more inclined to maintain a positive attitude in the circumstance than adults do. Even though it can occasionally be challenging for particular children to receive the help, they require in a larger school setting than they were accustomed to in primary or middle school.

b. Develop Your Understanding of the School's Resources and Support Systems.

Each school is unique. Your understanding of the assistance options depends on the website, the staff you speak with, and other parents. Friendship development classes? Buddy networks? Mentoring? Counselling? Study skills coaching? Although schools have very little money to support students emotionally, they are frequently creative and driven to help every child succeed.

c. Connect with Other Parents.

Many schools held coffee mornings and quiz sessions for brand-new parents, which helped establish some connections. Additionally, a WhatsApp group for parents can be created to discuss issues relating to kids. You might discover that other kids are going through the same things and that their parents have found useful tools or solutions.

d. Spend more "down time" and provide nurturing at home during the transition to secondary school.

Overstretching your child's nervous system may make it more difficult for them to handle the rigours of school. They need enough rest and physical recovery time. Give enjoyment and rest a top priority. Make sure there is plenty of structure, such as set bedtimes and possibly a weekly family supper at a favourite restaurant. If your child feels vulnerable at school, routine and consistency at home might help establish a secure foundation. It could take one year or more to get into the expected mode.

e. Develop a Successful and happy Social Life Away from School.  

This is crucial if your child is having trouble making friends or if you don't think their school pals are a suitable fit. Ensure you assist them in setting up get-togethers with elementary school buddies or other peer groups. This will assist kids in realizing that having difficulty making friends at school does not necessarily indicate that they are flawed. Simply put, they haven't yet discovered their "tribe." Additionally, it enables students to practise their social skills, keeping them up to date. Lower secondary students haven't immediately transitioned well, yet life can still be satisfying and joyful.

f. Maximize Realistic Support to Make the Transition to Secondary School Easier.

Yes, your child needs to learn to pack their bag, do their homework without you nagging, and arrive at the bus stop on time. Greater independence, however, does not follow any particular race. Reduce the pressure. If necessary, assist her with organizing her assignments or packing her luggage first. Some children may need at least a year to learn how to complete each of these tasks independently.

g. Get More Assistance for Your Child's Welfare

Take action if your child's mental health is declining or if stress negatively impacts their physical health. Potentially, they will attend secondary school for seven years. Eliminate stressors before they significantly negatively impact your child's mental wellbeing throughout the teen years. Discuss the situation with your child's GP (doctor) if it hasn't improved after a few months to see what support you can get for them.